Recapping December and January

To all my faithful blog readers,

Well, if you check this everyday . . . you must be accustomed to disappointment. 

 It's been a very full few months. So, I'll give you all the Reader's Digest and hopefully be able to blog a bit more regularly in the coming months.

Let's see where I left off.  Ah yes!  The Laserbeams.  Like I said, we were an amazing compilation of skill, strength and heart.  After the season ended, the next event worth mentioning would be the

 Holiday Soiree, and to that end, the first soiree I have ever attended.  We dressed up and we danced - of course this was 

the best night of my life.

But the good times didn't stop there.  There was some fun tree decorating, an amazing Christmas concert (truly the seminary know how to put on a concert).  And other than that, it was papers and projects.  I can proudly say that I

 directed my first student film, "Whom You Loved", a collaborative project for my Philosophy of the Arts class.

And it was work right up until I left for California.  

While most of my 

friends have complained that there was too much down time over break, for me - there wasn't enough.  I was able to spend a week in Texas with my family - my still growing family.  It was baby Patrick's first Christmas.  His older brother, J.J., my godson, is two and as precious as can be . . . for a two year old that is.  Yet even during this trying age, I maintain that he is the sweetest, cutest, smartest child EVER. 

New Year's Eve until January 10th was spent in Southern Calfornia. I had the BEST time.  In fact, it was very sad to leave.  While I was home, I secured a summer position as a chaplain at

 St. Joseph's Hospital in Orange (very good news, because it's a great site and it's close to home).  

And now it's finals.  Clearly I only blog when I'm procrastinating. I'm halfway done.  Just an Old Testament exam and a final project for the Human Sexuality class.  The end is so close . . . 

Lastly, in terms of updates, my lifelong dream will be realized tomorrow . . . I begin serving at Teresa's Cafe.  I'm very excited about it.

The next semester begins January 28th.  Please check back in.  There is sure to be posts regarding intramural ultimate frisbee, snow storms, NJ drivers, Faith and Film class (right up my alley), and more!

Love to you all!

 

Laserbeams

It's the end of an era.  The Laserbeams played in their final game this last Saturday.  We were a tough team and we gave it our all.  Unfortunately, we lost to the Heathen Legion (although I must say that we did not lose easily).  

Before I arrived at Princeton, my friend, Robin (a Princeton alum) told me about the seminary's flag football league. She knew that I would love it.  And do I ever.   I found a team as quickly as I could.  This was not easy - it seemed on that fateful week back in September that every team was full.  Yet, my now great friend, Layne, came to my rescue.  I found us a spot on the Laserbeams, she said. It's mostly PhD's but they need girls.  They'll take us!

And take us they did!

Every Saturday morning from then on was spent on the field.  There were catches and fumbles, touchdowns and pulled flags.  I loved every minute of it.

In the last minutes of Saturday's game, when we knew defeat was eminent, we knew it was time to bring the fun (a task we never struggled with).  'Who wants to catch it?' Adam said.  

I raised my hand.  "I want to!  I want a touchdown."  For that moment, I embodied Sean Astin in Rudy.  I ran to the end zone as fast I as I could.  The pass thrown.  A bullet straight to the chest, literally.  It knocked me off my feet.  My back hit the ground and the ball never even touched my hands.  

It wasn't a perfect ending.  But it was fun and I can't wait for next year.

Go 'Beams!!!

Cause Depot

Hey Friends! I wanted to let you know about a new blog launching. It's called Cause Depot. My mentor and former supervisor, Jim Toole is launching this along with his wife, Pati. I get to serve as the honorary seminarian!!!

Here's a brief description from Jim:

Pati and I for a long time have wanted to do more about global issues. We have wanted to create awareness as well as give more back. So we have created a web site, it is an e-retail store, conversation and portal to innovative ideas. It is a small way for us to enter into innovation surrounding global issues while being pastors. Our desire is to showcase stories and encourage ideas of innovation and enterprise that can benefit cause-related organizations. Sixty percent of the profits from the store will go back to these organizations. Please take a look and please enter into the conversation. We would love to have everyone’s views even if it gets spicy. We want to wrestle with the world we live in.


http://www.causedepot.org/

My contribution will be showcased next week!

Observations . . .

Being new has afforded me one of my favorite pastimes, people watching. When I travel by myself, it's my favorite thing to do. I watch those around me and without engaging in conversation. I sit back and take in everything around me. As I have been building community here at Princeton, I've been able to do a lot of watching - not just of people but really of the environment as a whole, of the people with whom I've connected, and of me. And here are just a handful of observations I have acquired thus far

• This place is seriously competitive. People are working really hard for their grades. And this strange for me. I used to be the one of the few like this (and I played it down all the time). Here I am surrounded by my people. It's comforting and unsettling at the same time. I feel at home in conversations yet keenly aware that I don't have the market on book smarts - not by a long shot.
• Most of the students here do not want to be pastors. Now this really surprises me. I would say that the majority of conversations I have are with students who want to be in Academia for the long haul (ThM, PhD, etc, etc, etc)***. Or they are here 'figuring things out.' Please don't mistake my ' ' for condescension or sarcasm. I think it's kind of amazing that so many young adults are searching for a spiritual community and theological inquiry. But it is surprising.
• I miss San Clemente Presbyterian. I really do. It's been hard for me to find a church here at Princeton. This is not at all a reflection on East Coast churches. It's just not home. For all the discussions we had about engagement of the community, I don't know if I ever realized just how engaged I was until I left. My best friends worshipped with me. My spiritual needs were being met.
  
• However, there are some exciting opportunities ahead. Starting this Sunday, I'm on a mission to find my 'Field Education' site for next year. I have a list of five churches that should be a good fit for my needs and my growth objectives.

• I have finally fulfilled by my life long dream of becoming a server. Laugh if you must but I am actually really excited. I start next week at Cafe Teresa (a quaint, downtown Italian cafe). I will only work 15 hrs a week but I am very excited to
  

• a) be off campus for a while and
  
• b) hone my knowledge of wine.

Granted this is only a handful of observations/updates and certainly there will be more to come!

And . . . for Southern California friends and family: I will be home from November 16 - 24. I hope to see you then!



**I am actually considering both a ThM and PhD. However, I read the requirements online this evening. To be in the Princeton PhD program, you have to be reading proficient in 2 modern language. That means on top of Hebrew and Greek, I would need to take French and German . . . at some point. This is slightly overwhelming.

Winds of Change

happens to be my favorite Scorpions song. Seriously, my friend, Melissa, and I do an excellent rendition. Although she's a better whistler. But whistling is not the subject of this post. No, it is change. It's Saturday night 8:30 p.m. I'm listening to Liszt, Elgar, and Ravel and diligently trying to get this Religion and Society paper finished.

This is a change.

If I were back in San Clemente, I'd be getting dressed. It's the annual pumpkin carving party and my gals are now at home dressing up as sexy ghost, sexy Punky Brewster, sexy student (Just kidding - my friends aren't like that - and if they were, I'd probably deny it). As they get outfitted for a night of costumes and laughs, I realize just how different life is.
It's been a cold few days here in Jersey with lots of rain. Thank God my rain jacket arrived yesterday. Yes, the OC girl moved to Jersey without an umbrella or a rain jacket - and I still don't know what I'll be putting on my feet from December to February - do you think they make Rainbows with tread? [Point of reference, Rainbow's are sandals - I'm not trying to be poetic or cute by talking about walking on rainbows]

But I just feel these deep sense of appreciation for an experience that not many get to have. So few of my new friends here (who are great by the way) know what it's like to live the young adult life. Most are on college round 2. And here I am with a wealth of memories, experiences and friendships, now getting to study all the time and learn what I feel will be so invaluable to my future. Yes, it's an exciting time.

On Friday, I play pick-up Frisbee. And yesterday, we played in the pouring rain. It was something out of an American Eagle commercial (although we were a bit of a motley crew). We laughed and slid and ended up completely covered in mud.

And now, it's back to the paper. With fervent prayer, I hope that something brilliant comes out. Ok, let's just hope for passing. I don't want to be too ambitious.

"Just remember . . . it's your marathon!"

Before embarking on my first marathon, I told my running buddies, Kristy and Adam, two things. First, I just want to finish. And second, I don't want to be one of those people that cries at the finish line.

Why no crying? Well, it's just such a chiche. And I believe that there was a little part of me that knew it was coming. You see, in my adult life, I've discovered that I need a good cry every now and then. Not just the misty eyes that come from watching Grey's or Rent, but a good, tears streaming down, completely unattractive, cry. And let me tell you - I am due.

I've left the best job I've ever had. I moved from Southern California and left all my friends and family. And while I was tearful at my church goodbyes (there were many) and for a moment in Palm Springs with the girls, I really didn't have it all out. I didn't even cry when my car broke down in Lovelock, Nevada and there was a chance the cross country drive was an impossibility. So, there was a part of me that knew after running 5 hours and completing a feat that 3 years ago would have NEVER been possible - I just might cry.

The decision to run this marathon was complicated. On one hand, I really did want to run to promote awareness and raise funds for Malawi. It's the cause of my heart. I love that country. I believe in the partnership for which I now volunteer. Above all, I believe that the funds raised could go to give a improved quality of life to the children of Nkhoma.

However, there is this other hand where part of this race was really about me. It was about completing something that not just anyone can do. It was about the discipline it took to train all spring and summer (and me foolishly believing that I could train while moving home, running summer camp, going to Malawi and moving to Princeton). But I did train. I ran in Zambia, Nebraska, and endless times around Newport's back bay. I was committed to finishing 26.2 (and I have to admit that number often seems very arbitrary to me).

On the morning of October 7th, as I took my spot on concrete (see me --->), I repeated to myself the advice that Pastor Tod had given our team the evening prior, "Just remember, this is your marathon." I knew it was going to be hot [record highs for Chicago in October]. I knew that I should have trained more. But this was my marathon. I was going to finish.

After the national anthem was sung and the gun fired, we were off (well not quite - it took about 20 minutes to cross the start line). As I headed on my first mile thinking 'I can't believe it's here', I was exhilarated. Correction - I was exhilarated and sweaty. Excuse the details, but I was perspiring noticeably more than I ever do on mile one. It's ok Sarah - keep going. And I did.

It wasn't hard. The streets of Chicago were lined with supporters. With my name emblazoned on my Team World Vision Tech Shirt, I heard consistently - "You got it, Sarah!" "Go Sarah!" "Keep it up, Sarah!" "Yeah Sarah, looking good!" Oh the power of a name! I was charged with each cheer. I gave out smiles lavishly. I was loving my marathon.

As we neared our first aid station, I heard complaints that there was no Gatorade. This was distressing. My 'marathon plan' was to drink Gatorade at EVERY aid station. It was hot and I needed those electrolytes. But it's ok. No Gatorade at one station - I'll drink water and get 2 cups at the next. However, as I reached the second aid station (near mile 4) not only was there no Gatorade, there was no water. This. Is. Not. Good.

Runners were getting restless. I was getting nervous. And the citizens of Chicago stepped it up - big time. Neighborhoods pulled together and handed out water and ice to runners. It was amazing. "Here you go, Sarah!" "Keep it up, I hear there's Gatorade ahead."

So, I kept it up. I chatted, I smiled at the crowds and slapped high fives with kids along the curb. Around mile five some very bold men with a sign reading [Free back rubs for hot chicks, everyone else $5], shouted, "Hey Sarah, you want a massage?" - Against every gender studies lecture I've ever attended, I smiled in spite of myself and offered a "Thank you" as I ran by.

By mile 10 - I, along with the other runners, was being doused by hoses and accepting anything I could get my hands on - Water, Gatorade, anything! It was hot- but it was fun! Yet, I began to notice the ominous sounds of sirens since mile 4 and it was making me a bit nervous. I put on my ipod and reminded myself "It's your marathon - you just have to finish."

At the halfway point, I was tired. I gave myself a generous 3 minute walking break. I got my heart rate down, blared the Killers and Fratellis on my ipod and thought with confidence 'I am going to do this!' It was at mile 16 where things took a turn. With the music rockin', I missed the announcement. I saw runners distressed, pulled out the headphones and asked what was going on.
'The race is cancelled.'
'We're being re-routed.'
'Stop running!'
'I think we aren't allowed to finish.'

No one really knew what was happening. We passed the 16 mile marker and kept going. The crowds thinned and the next thing I knew, I was running down Jackson Ave with cars driving on my left. It was complete chaos. I would estimate that there were about 300 people in front on my and another 400 behind me. We had no idea that the course was changed. Some walked. And others ran.
As we turned the corner, I saw the park and knew I was back where I started - about 8.2 miles too soon. I couldn't believe it - everyone looked confused- we actually had to run against the finish line where everyone was getting their medals, bananas, and ice. We were instructed to cross the finish line. I can't remember the last time I felt that confused.

No one I knew was near me. Someone put a medal over my head. I was given water, ice, bananas and congratulations. But I didn't finish the marathon. As that thought sank in, the tears came. And they really came. I stumbled in disbelief.

I didn't finish.

I cried for my confusion, for my exhaustion but ultimately for my failure. The volunteers didn't know what to do with me (or anyone for that matter). Runners were dropping like flies due to heat exhaustion and this crazy girl was wandering down the line with a quivering lip and tear-stained face. (They kept offering me bananas).

In my last performance evaluation at work, my supervisor told me that my growth edge was that I needed to get better with failure. At the time, I thought this was funny. It reminded me of how Michael Scott would say "Do I have shortcomings? Well, maybe I give too much to charity!" How can my critique be that I'm not ok with failure? Isn't that exactly the type of person you want working for you?

Well, as most of my lessons from Jim have gone, it has new meaning now. And I'll be honest, I don't think the lesson has been completely learned yet. What I do know is - I am definitely not ok with failing.

I wanted to finish. I believed I could finish. But it wasn't going to be this day. My marathon was my first real failure. And just maybe the F-word isn't so bad.

If you want to read more about the race, you can check out Tod's blog http://bolsinger.blogs.com/

or Google 'Chicago Marathon' - and it'll be on cnn.com, nytimes.com, associated press, etc.

I don't regret running. I don't regret the hours that I spent training. And while the ankle is still a little sore (and the tears haven't completely stopped), I don't regret my first marathon.

Before walking into the team tent, I knew I had to pull it together. A very very special friend was able to listen to my story through sobs and gasps and said, "Sarah, you ran 18 miles today. I am very proud of you." I may not be proud of myself just yet - but it was exactly what I needed to hear.


Will I run another Marathon? I've told myself that I don't have to answer that question for 2 weeks.

A very very special thanks to Nonna, Chris, Rick, Virginia, Krista, Julie, Mike, Michelle, Matt, and Karen. Your support is deeply appreciated. And the best news is that although I didn't finish, the kids still get the money!!!! Joking aside, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!

Where's the Party?

That's how I answered the phone for 2 years of my adolescence while working at a party supply store. Regardless of what Emily Post might say in response to answering the phone with such a casual question, I happened to love it.

So, it's been quite the walk down memory lane to hear that same question repeated over and over . . . and over again. In McKay (the dining hall) all one hears over a Thursday lunch is "Where's the party?"

Surprised as some of you might be, I've only made it to one. I've been battling a cold, training for the marathon, and taking some fun (and okay - a little scary) trips to New York City. But please do let me share with you what my first 'Seminary Party' was like. I heard about it on my first night here at Princeton. I was in a car filled with girls and the conversation went something like:

"Well, I don't want my costume to be funny because it's my birthday. I want to look hot. But I don't want to go as a prostitute." huh?

It was the kick-off event of the year, and I was invited to the "Come as your favorite bible character/theme/phrase/reference."

If I doubted for one moment that I was in seminary, this put it all to rest. Oh - I'm at seminary. Despite the plethora a genius (and disturbing) ideas from friends at home, I decided not to dress up. I still don't know anyone, none of the other Juniors (first years) were dressing up, and yeah - I'm a big chicken.

But I found a group to walk over with - the party was being held in basement of Hodge (a neighboring dorm). As I approached, the music was bumping (50 Cent, Kayne, Outkast, Missy). Girls were dancing and someone ushered me to beverage area. My options were Mike's Lemonade or something pink in a trash bag lined cooler. Maybe I'm not in Seminary?

As I anticipated, not everyone was in costume. I fit in just fine in my jeans - although I decided that if I came next year, I would fill a water bottle with wine (a version of Julie's idea) and go as an original Wedding at Cana guest.

Yet, this idea would pale compared to what I saw.

• The was a sexy 'fallen' angel
• Vanity (a girl with pictures of herself taped all over)
  
• The Whore of Babylon (although I'm quite certain this young lady doesn't know Ladies of the Night (as Granny would say) dress - she was very tame)
• the JPED source and Moses (who is very angry that he no longer gets credit for writing the Pentateuch) I AM DEFINITELY AT SEMINARY
• Some t-shirts that referenced some obscure Old Testament passages in Ezekiel and Genesis (I don't really want to elaborate)
• And at last - my favorite. A tall guy wearing all khaki came in with a cone on his head that was painted red at the tip. He was Jael's tent peg!

I'm still not too sure what to think about the whole experience. It was fun. I had some nice conversations and some good laughs. I don't know if I'll go down in the record books as a partying seminarian - but I'm certainly having fun watching the others!